Vol. 1, Issue 12: What’s 5ft tall and eating for two?
October 25, 2010Once again – life has totally interfered with my blogging habit and things have continued to move forward and change. Not long after my last blog post – life took another turn. Some of you out there already know about this change and have dutifully kept it off of Facebook and Twitter per my request. I thank you for that.
Figured it out yet?
Yes? No? Maybe so….
Well, in the event you don’t already know or haven’t noticed me passing on the cocktails lately (HINT) – I am thrilled to announce that my girlfriend/life partner Dale Ann and I are starting a family! As of Tuesday, October 26th I am exactly 20 weeks pregnant with…. well, I still can’t tell you yet because Dale is working on a surprise for her co-workers this Friday to tell them. Needless to say we are working on deciding on names. Feel free to use the comment section below for suggestions but no promises.
So – naturally, Dale and I understand you may have a lot of questions about how a lesbian couple in Oklahoma (or anywhere) goes about deciding to start a family. Well, like straight couples – a lot of discussion, reflection, anxiety and excitement. We do realize we face a few different options and challenges that others don’t and we’re happy to discuss them. Dale and I have agreed that the most frequently asked questions are:
- How did you decide who would carry?
- What was the method?
- Did you know the donor?
Now – we’re happy to answer most questions but there may be a few we still don’t have answers to or feel the answers are a little too private to share. We’ll also be incorporating some video in this process to make it more dynamic. We hope you’ll appreciate our candidness and respect our privacy as well if we decide not to elaborate at times. For example, I will not publish our doctors’ names in order to safeguard their privacy and ours. We are very thankful we were able to find such great practitioners in Oklahoma but do realize we live in Oklahoma and may face bias.
All of that being said – this will not become an open forum to debate the validity of our future family. Why? Because this is my blog, my family and I will delete any comments I believe “cross the line” and threaten our family, privacy or emotional well-being. Our goal is to be as open as we feel comfortable regarding the experiences and obstacles we know we will face as a same sex couple raising a child.
Parenting advice, swaddling advice and wisdom regarding child rearing are not only welcome but expected! We’ve had hundreds of questions we wanted to crowd source over the past few months but haven’t been able to.
So thanks for listening… pray for us, think of us, send positive energy our way because Dale and I are about to enter parenthood with all of you other crazy parents out there!
Lanie & Dale
Lanie James
Congratulations, Lanie and Dale! I guess since you are making an official announcement, your pregnancy is progressing smoothly. Hopefully at this stage the sickness is waning, but in case it has not happened yet, it does get replaced with exhaustion – which I guess really never goes away once the baby is born! HA!
Anyway that child will bring such joy in to your lives that there will be days you reflect back on how dull life was before your child came around.
Burrito wrap! Learn it in class. Every baby loves the comfort of a good tight burrito wrap – even if they somehow figure out how to get his or her little toes peeping thru!
I was somewhat surprised by some of the things you had to mention in your announcement. Surprised in that I would not think those things need to be said. Seriously? People would actually respond negatively to your news and on a blog, at that? I guess I still live in a world of social media ignorance and back in a time where when you did not have anything nice to say, then don’t say it at all! It is sad that you had to say anything at all but since you did, good for you on taking a firm position, and making it clear that anything negatively stated will not be tolerated!
I look forwrd to seeing updates on you blog, like the announcement on the sex of the baby and the due date.
Oh… One word of warning. I hope you do not mind touchy, feely strangers because I swear they come out of the woodworks to touch your belly. It is the strangest thing…..
Again, congratulations to the both of you.
Lanie and Dale Ann,
I am so happy for you! I have a tear in my eye.
Lanie, I hope you are feeling well. It’s pretty amazing what the body goes through during pregnancy.
Don’t wait until the last minute to plan for daycare, if you need it.
You likely already have a copy of What to Expect When Your Expecting. If not, I found it a helpful tome.
Minivans are practical but try to resist. Baby seats do not fit in Miata’s very well.
Looking forward to future blogs. I don’t know any same sex couples that have children together. I’m sure I will in the future, more couples are choosing parenthood. Honestly, I expect that your experience will be pretty much the same as mine. You will have a child, you will love it so much it hurts, your life will revolve around raising him/her. It disappoints me that bias is even a possibility.
Bummer, being in N TX I am out of range to be an extra ‘holder’ for your baby.
Hugs for you both.
Keep us posted.
Geri
This is so awesome. Congrats Dale and Lanie. Can’t wait to watch you two go through this amazing journey.
Terra
Wow! Congrats!! Having 2 kiddos myself, I’m always happy to give advice. The most important thing you need to consider before he or she is born is how are you going to raise him or her? Of course, I would recommend OSU and would suggest stocking up on orange onsies fast.
Seriously though, very excited and happy for you both.
I could not be happier for you too. You will both make amazing parents!
WOW! Congrats Lanie & Dale!!! That is the best news! I am completely impressed with your approach here & willingness to share with so many. My girlfriend & I thank you, as I know all gays will!!! Xoxo Bobbi
I’m so thrilled for both of you! As for the validity of your future family, all that matters is that a very lucky baby will be welcomed into a loving, stable family. I wish that all children were so fortunate.
Love makes a family!! Congrats Lanie and Dale–you are going to be two incredible mommies. I know you have lots of family and friends to support you and to help spoil baby.
Blessings!
Yay! At 33 weeks, 20 weeks seems like a long time ago. I <3 your specialist, since we have the same one. Can't wait to find out what you're having!! Hope all's well at home – we're ready for Hanna Marie to arrive, even though her nursery is no where near finished!
Congratulations you two!!! If it’s a girl her name should be Shelley. Actually no I don’t even like my name.
The only advice I have is to go with your gut when it comes to raising your child and don’t let anyone give you grief for your choices. And get ready – parenthood is a wild ride.
Congrats! For the love of God and everything holy…please think about the elementary school torment your child will endure if you give him/her a “different” name. Just sayin’.
That said…having a “different” name as an adult is kind of cool.
Take care!
Fantastic news!!! Congrats to both of you!! I have 3 girls so you can ask away! Parenting is crazy!! Remember you will have good days and bad days, but when he/she smiles at you…NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!! So excited for you both!
I’ve tried this twice now….so if you have 3 comments from me, sorry! LOL
I am very happy for both of you. I think every woman should experience motherhood as its one of the most rewarding things in this crazy world! As a sister of a lesbian (with a baby now herself) i couldn’t be more happier for you guys. I know you will both make GREAT mommies!
Yeah… That is wonderful news you two. I know you will both make amazing parents! Congrats to you both, it will be the most rewarding and life changing thing. Best Wishes to the new mommies to be!
Congratulations, you two…three!
May I say woot? Because. Woot!!
Congratulations ladies! So excited for you!!!!!
CONGRATS!
SO THRILLED to see you two become parents and incredibly excited that I am now allowed to talk about it on Twitter. ::giant exhale::
Lanie,
I’m so excited for you two. You will be wonderful parents. While I’m not an expert, I certainly have an opinion when it comes to parenting. I learn something from Ryleigh everyday. We need to have a twitter baby shower.
congrats for you both! Thanks for sharing on your blog!
Jess
I love it when great people have babies. You and Dale will be awesome parents. Congrats! oh, and if you need advice on an “all natural” childbirth experience, please call on me : )
CONGRATULATIONS!! You guys are going to make wonderful parents. And its a darn good thing you guys didn’t buy my scooter last year. (although that would have been funny to watch.. two girls and a papoose on the back!) Congrats again, sweetie!!
As a friend of Dale and one of the same sex crazy parent, i would love to congratulate you and let you know that regardless of all the obstacles it will be one of the most happiest experiences you will face in your life. Our son is only five and barely started public school so i feel the toughest part of prejudice is about to begin and because he is my life and we have God on our side “bring it on” because for both i am willing to die. Ignorance is everywhere its like Good and Evil but our faith is so strong that regardless of all Evil past or future our Good in our heart for him will overcome. I congratulate you again with all my heart and because Ignorance unites remember so should We, so we are here to help each other for advice or support, because we shall overcome.
Holla! So excited for you and your sweet parental journey. Remember, you have a free babysitter any time.
Yay Baby! Congrats Ladies. Parenthood is awesome.
Congratulations to you both! I can’t wait for Friday to get here to find out if it is a boy or girl.
Woo Hoo!!!! I can finally open my BIG mouth! This has been torture.
I have to admit I chuckled that you think straight couples have discussion and reflection before starting a family…uh…its called one too many cocktails…and there you go!
Seriously, someone once said to me that having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body. So true.
My advice…take a childbirth class but then get the epidural…I repeat…epidurals are fabulous. Also, take a newborn care class. They talk about everything from germs to diapers.
My last piece of advice is be careful openly asking for advice..believe me..people will give it anyway and at some point in your pregnancy you will want to them all to shut up.
Love you bunches and congrats!
congratulations! i think its greatest and hardest thing you’ll ever do…you two are going to be awesome moms…email me about the family pics i have, you’ll want to share with baby later on..
peace and love
your cousin jennifer
p.s. don’t forget the folic acid
The coolest thing I’ve heard all day … make that all week. My advice, don’t listen to people. If you have questions, ask. But really, people love telling all their horror stories. Life is beautiful, babies are beautiful, don’t worry, it’ll all be OK. You and Dale are in for the ride of your life. Sending all my best.
I am so excited for you both…I know what it is but have been sworn to secretcy not to say
well I am here for you both…you know I will help out anyway I can for the new little one…I know I am almost in the BUTTHOLE of Tx but I am here for you both…I love you both and wish you the best of LUCK…oh yea…the numbers on the diapers do not mean how much the diapers can hold…lol…jk…I love you
Hooray!!!!!!!!!
Lanie & Dale,
Clearly as it’s been expressed by Lanie, I’m WAY behind on this news but nonetheless CONGRATS!!! I’m truly happy 4 u both..I have 2 of my own & it’s not always easy as they grow up but you learn as you go.
Any haters out there can literrally go 2 HELL, you 2 will make wonderful parents & I’m happy 2 have met you…
I see that you haven’t posted on ur blog since October(ish)…can you tell us what ur having now? Still need anything? Bless you both & I hope your delivery & the pregnancy has been an easy one & will be-delivery wise.
Let me know if you need anything and looking for future updates & pics..hint, hint
Kaleena